Karma's Apology
by kayklahr
Summary: Karma can't get ahold of Amy since that fight after the protest. Karma realized that she loves Amy and can't live without her but Amy is ignoring her. What should she do? Small ficlet rated T for some cursing.


Authors Notes: First I am not a writer but this idea came in my head and I had to take a crack at it so be kind. Second I highly recommend listening to this song : watch?v=RL9LM76v_fo while reading. Katie Stevens sings it so its even more perfect and what actually gave me the idea for this fic. Also I can't spell to save my life and suck at grammer so all mistakes are my bad.

"Amy call me back," Karma pleaded into Amy's voicemail for approximately the tenth time. "You were right. I was an idiot. I was selfish. I didn't see what was right in front of my face. You know how I get. I just was so focused on the popularity and I realized… I realized that I have fe…"

The voicemail ended. "Do you want to rerecord your message? If so please press one. If not hang up."

"Damn it," Karma was in deep shit. Her best friend ripped her a new one for a good damn reason and she just yelled back at her. It was the fucking adrenaline high from the performance. _What is wrong with me? How could I have missed what was right in front of my face? For Christ's sake it was in my song!_

Karma's memory flashed back to being on stage. Singing her song to keep Liam from sleeping with that protest bitch. Karma's eyes locked with her best friend/ fake girlfriend singing, _"_When I am with you I don't have to hide, when I am with you I can be myself…"_ What the hell was that feeling? I looked at her and I knew that the song I supposedly wrote for Liam was really about her. But it's a fucking love song Karma get a grip of yourself! _

So Karma broke eye contact with Amy and started singing to Liam. _Maybe the feelings were just because of the emotional lyrics? I am sure it was about Liam._ Karma kept singing, "Something changed the moment we kissed, I never knew we could feel like this…"

Karma felt a clinching in her belly as she pictured kissing Amy at the assembly. _Shit! No no no no! I have feelings for Liam. Amy is my best friend I can't love her and like her that just can't happen! _"**You did already tell your parents**," a voice in her head stated. _No just keep singing your just nervous, "_Keep it hush hush undercover but it's a rush being your lover. And if it's not to much could you have a crush on me… and you were never a secret to me."

Everyone burst into applause when she was done. Everyone cheered her on. Karma was excited and anxious and ecstatic. _I have to find Amy… _Was the only thought on the girls mind as she ran off the stage and was intercepted by all her new "friends". _Damn it! Where is she? Did she leave?_

After about five minutes of "congrats" and "I didn't know you could sing" Karma finally escaped the madness. _If I did write the song about Amy I wonder what she thought. No wait I can't think like that… but she has always encouraged me to sing in front of more than just my cats. I hope I made her proud. _Karma found Amy at the lockers and they ended up having a huge fight. Amy told Karma to "get some integrity" and Karma told her "she was a teenager and could like the fucking popular boy if she wanted to!"

Now over forty-eight hours later Amy was still ignoring her and Karma had no idea what to do. "Amy, please… God I can't loose her." Karma was doing something she only did one other time in her life when Amy's dad left, "I know my parents are hippies and don't believe in you but please let her give me another chance. I know I am not good enough for her. But I just realized that I love her… more than friends. Amy's family would say that's a sin and you want me to burn in hell for it but you are a God of Love right? So it love can't be a sin. Not that I care just for if by some miracle you let me explain to Amy and she likes me back I need to have this stuff filed away… maybe I should do some research… Get ahold of yourself Ashcroft! Amy probably will never speak to you again after your confession anyways. Focus! God please just do something give me a way to apologize."

She dialed the number she had memorized by heart even thought Amy was speed dial number one on her phone. Just to postpone the inevitable voicemail and let down she was going to feel. There was a dial tone, a ring, ring, ring, "the party you are trying to reach is unavailable at this time…"

"Fuuuuuuuuuck," Karma yelled into her pillow. _What the hell am I going to do? At least tomorrow is Monday and she can't ignore me at school. _

Monday morning Karma woke up early as always. She was applying make up to her puffy eyes hoping to cover up the affects of crying. She had a plan, a last ditch effort so to speak, that was going to be putting everything on the line…

Sunday Karma called Shane because she was dying and needed to talk to someone.

"Shane," Karma began hesitantly. "I need to confess something and its going to seem weird but stay with me okay?"

"Sure lady, anything for my favorite lesbian couple, or half at least," Shane replied.

Karma took a deep breath before she started. Biting her lip she began, "I love Amy with literally all my heart. She has been with me for ten years. But we aren't really dating. We are faking or at least we were or I was but now I know I'm not…"

Karma paused and Shane prompted, "You have my attention."

"Well you thought we were lesbians," Karma continued, "and I wanted Liam to like me so I convinced Amy to go with it but then we fought and she wasn't going to pretend anymore and I told her "she was more important than popularity" and I was cool with that but she said sure "lets be lesbians" and I was so excited then things with Liam got more serious and the protest happened…"

Karma was cut off by Shane, "Breathe honey. Can you stop for a second and actually end a sentence?"

"Sorry," she apologized. "Anyways I was writing a song and Amy had been pestering me to see it and normally I would let her but for some reason I couldn't let her see it. At the time I thought it was because the song was about Liam but now I know it's because it was about her and I didn't want her to know how I really felt. After I got on stage and started singing I was thinking of Amy and it made me feel crazy. We made eye contact and I couldn't think right so I focused on Liam. Hoping it was the song not her that was causing my feelings. It wasn't and we fought and I am sure she will never speak to me again willingly. So I need your help. Please Shane. I know you have no reason to help me seeing as I lied to you for weeks but I'm begging and I don't ever beg."

"I'll help you," Shane replied. Shane having had a similar conversation with Amy the day before was grinning ear to ear. He was going to get his lesbians back together. "What do you need?"

Karma arrived at school with her guitar in hand. She was wearing a flowing white skirt with a tight black top that showed off her biggest assets. Amy had mentioned she liked the skirt a month or so ago and the shirt well even Karma noticed Amy staring a week ago, she just thought it was female jealously at the time. Her hair was down because Amy loved playing with it even when they were kids. Light waves curled around her nude make-up look. She was going simple because that is what Amy liked and God as her witness Karma was going all in and praying for a good outcome.

"Hey lady you ready," Shane asked as he walked up. "Amy should be here to meet me in a few minutes. I'll lead her to the basketball court. It's up to you to do the rest."

"Thanks," Karma replied. Giving Shane a weak but thankful smile. "I know that I really screwed up and that she probably will never speak to me again when she finds out I have feeling for her but I have to try."

"I know kid," Shane replied. "Go get the girl!"

Karma asked Shane to lay out a blanket in the middle of the court with a picnic basket she had packed late Sunday evening. It held some of her most precious memories she had with Amy. The drawing they did in school together. When everyone else but Karma had a group of friends they were playing with, Amy came over and asked Karma to color with her. Amy and her became close friends after that. Amy was the only one who saw the anxious side of her that just wanted to fit in and become a star at the same time. Karma was made of those kinds of contradictions. This situation was just another in a long line of wanting two different things that didn't mix well.

It also held a photo from their first sleep over. Karma couldn't sleep with the night-light on and Amy couldn't sleep without it. So they put a bunch of glow and the dark stars on the ceiling so that they both could be happy. Amy's mother came in and thought they looked "So stinkin' cute!" and just had to take a picture.

At ten Karma convinced her parents that Amy and her needed a hand binding ceremony because they were soul mates. The leather cord that tide them together that day was sitting right next to the picture of Amy listening to the mix tape that Karma had made her with her own original songs on it, including the popular My mom sucks but my friends worth a hundred bucks. She wasn't always a good songwriter; Amy had helped her with that as well.

Karma was snapped out of memory lane by the sound of footsteps. She picked up her guitar and started playing the cords to Whitney Houston's I Have Nothing. She started the first part, "Share my life, take me for what I am. 'Cause I'll never change all my colors for you. Take my love, I'll never ask for too much. Just all that you are and everything that you do."

By that point Amy's head had snapped from Shane's face and was looking at Karma. Her face was unreadable. Karma was terrified. Shane gave her a look that said "good luck kid" and walked out. So Karma continued, "don't really need to look very much further. I don't want to have to go where you don't follow. I won't hold it back again, this passion inside. I can't run from myself, there's nowhere to hide."

Karma hadn't felt so nervous in her life. Amy had locked eyes with her since the chorus and hadn't done anything since. Karma was starting to loose her hold of her emotions as she continued with the next part of the song, "Don't make me close one more door. I don't wanna hurt anymore. Stay in my arms if you dare. Or must I imagine you there. Don't walk away from me. I have nothing, nothing, nothing. If I don't have you, you, you, you, you."

Amy had started walking towards her and all it took was a touch on the arm. Karma cracked at that point and started crying. She voice stuttered and that was all it took for Amy to pull her in for a hug. She didn't say anything while Karma cried. She just held her for the few minutes it took her to pull herself together. "What was that Karma," Amy asked her voice a mix of sadness and curiosity.

"A- Amy," Karma started. "I- I um, have to tell you something but first I am so sorry. I was an asshole and I wasn't thinking about anyone but myself. I will be sorry for as long as it takes for you to forgive me because you are the most important thing to me." Amy smiled a bit at that.

"Karma its okay," Amy replied. "I was being bitchy too. I should have never said you don't have integrity. It was to far. I was just so mad and then I just needed time to think. I got your voicemails."

"Actually about that," Karma met Amy's eyes seeing those green orbs she momentarily lost courage. _I can't lose her. Maybe we can just be fine being friends. If she forgives me I could just take that… No Karma get yourself together! You can do this, you have to do this. _"Amy I need to show you something."

Karma took out all the moments from the basket and explained why they were so important to her. For her part Amy was patient. Amy was always patient with Karma. It was one of the things Karma loved about her. When she was done she was in tears again. Knowing that if she screwed this up or if Amy didn't love her back she would probably never see the girl again. So Karma just sat there in the gym, on that checkered blanket with Amy holding the cord that bound them together when they were to young to realize that the ceremony was a marriage equivalent.

"Karma, not that I don't like the trip down memory lane but what is this about," Amy asked. "Just tell me what you need to tell me."

"Do you forgive me," Karma asked sniffling. "For being an ass on Friday?" "Karma come on you are stalling," a voice in her head said. _No it's important! I can't ask her to be my girlfriend if she isn't done being mad. _

"Karma," Amy sighed. "You know I can't stay mad at you. But you are dodging my question. Just say it. Whatever you need to say I will hear you out. Is this about Liam?" _Stupid Liam and my stupid self, no honey, just say it Karma. DO IT!_

Karma glanced up from the blanket yet again to look into Amy's eyes. Then without warning Karma leaned forward and brushed her lips against Amy's. She pulled back to see Amy's scared face, "Amy, I- I love you okay and I can't not tell you because this whole stupid argument was because I panicked when I realized my song was about you and not Liam and I'm not a lesbian. Or maybe I am I just know that you are everything and I have nothing if I don't have you. I know its cheesy quoting a song and that I am not the best person for you and you probably don't even like me that way I mean you were hanging out with Oliver and I just-"

Karma was cut off by Amy's lips hitting her own. Karma whimpered into the kiss. Their first kiss that wasn't fake. She could feel it, Amy's love pouring through the kiss. She pushed Karma down to the blanket not separating their lips. Slowly her tongue brushed her lip asking for entrance. It was easily given. Karma would give Amy anything to make her happy if only she would have her. Karma's hands tangled in Amy's long blonde hair. Why her mom gave her so much shit for it Karma would never know. It was soft and smelled beautiful like flowers and summertime. When Amy couldn't breathe any more she broke the kiss and rested her forehead on Karma's.

"Amy," Karma started but got interrupted by Amy. "No this time I talk." Amy sat up so she was straddling Karma. "Karma Ashcroft, you are a pain in the ass. You are so crazy that sometimes I swear Lindsey Lohan would be an easier friend." Karma's face fell. "But you are mine you silly woman. I have loved you since the day we first met. I just didn't know how much until we kissed right here."

"So are you saying what I think your saying," Karma asked hopefully.

"Will you be my not fake girlfriend," Amy asked laughing. Feeling freer than she had in weeks.

Karma leaned up getting closer to Amy before responding, "Yes Amy, I am so happy. I thought I would lose you forever." The fear Amy saw in Karma's eyes had her leaning in for another kiss. Just then confetti started falling from the ceiling.

"Karma did you do this," Amy asked with a smirk. But it disappeared when Karma looked confused.

"No I did bitches," Shane said walking out to the center of the court. "My girls needed to get back to the beginning and this gives you a do over. So get off that girl and come get your asses cleaning this up or we will be late to class!"

The End


End file.
